I’ve seen people I know spiral into suicidal thoughts, and back when I was in middle school, an 11th grader actually took their own life. Now, let’s not kid ourselves—this isn’t just some passing phase. It’s a cold, harsh reality. And here’s the kicker: many of us, whether we admit it or not, have had moments where the thought of suicide popped into our heads. Why? Because in this country, mental health is treated like an afterthought, something we barely care about until it’s too late.
I’ve had many friends throughout my life, most of them appearing and disappearing like seasons. It’s not hard to see why. They were there because of convenience, or, let’s be honest, because of how our social status in class defined who we hung out with. Some friendships were transactional, based on what you could offer rather than genuine connection. I knew I’d lose them eventually, and I was fine with that.
But there are a few friends who have been with me since the very beginning—back when we didn’t care about status, marks, or the rat race. Some of these friendships go as far back as nursery class, and others are from older days. These are the ones that matter. They’ve been by my side through thick and thin, doing things for me selflessly, without expecting anything in return. The truth is, I never really appreciated them back then, out of foolishness, arrogance or whatever. In those junior years, I took their loyalty for granted, but now, I’m terrified of losing them. These are the friends who matter, the ones who’ve been there when nothing else made sense, and I’ve come to realize how rare and precious they are.
Now, I want to make it clear that this piece is written anonymously. What I’m sharing isn’t all from personal experience, but a collection of what I’ve seen happening around me with my friends. This isn’t about airing grievances; it’s about understanding why so many young people in India feel broken, why it’s such a widespread issue, and what we can do to support each other.
1. Parental Pressure: The Dream That’s Never Yours
Let’s get one thing straight—our lives aren’t really ours. From the moment we’re born, we’re handed a career map. Middle-class? Prepare for IIT, IIM, or AIIMS. Got a bit more money to throw around? Well, then it’s Ivy League, Cambridge, Oxford, or Zurich. Anything less, and it feels like you’ve failed before you’ve even started. Parents rarely believe we can be anything but a neurosurgeon, engineer, or lawyer. Dreams of becoming a writer, artist, or musician? Forget about it. The pressure to meet these unrealistic expectations breaks us down, mentally and emotionally.
2. Teachers Who Shame, Not Support
Teachers, who should be guiding us, often end up piling on the shame. Miss a few marks on a test? Get ready to be humiliated in front of the whole class. Encouragement? Forget about it. They’ll remind you of your failures instead of helping you overcome them. This constant barrage of shame leaves a mark—it chips away at our self-esteem, making us feel worthless.
3. Fake Friends: Monsters in Disguise
Some of the worst damage comes from people we think are our friends. They push us into bad decisions, mock our weaknesses, and use our struggles as leverage against us. These aren’t friends—they’re toxic manipulators. We trust them, but they thrive on watching us spiral. When things go wrong, they’re nowhere to be found, leaving us to deal with the fallout alone.
4. The Exam Nightmare: You’re Worth a Number
The entire Indian education system is built on one thing: your marks. Everything is about numbers. Didn’t hit the magic percentage? You might as well not exist. It’s like our entire self-worth is tied to our grades, and the pressure to perform is relentless. This obsession with exams destroys any chance of creativity, self-exploration, or even basic mental well-being.
5. Love
I’ve never been in a relationship, but I’ve seen my friends go through it. One of the brightest people I know was completely shattered after a breakup. Another fell for someone who didn’t deserve him, and it wrecked him. Love, when it goes wrong, can leave us in pieces. And it’s not just the emotional pain—it messes with our sense of worth. Watching friends fall apart because of a relationship is heartbreaking, and it happens way too often.
6. Social Media: The Great Lie
We log into Instagram, Snapchat, or whatever the latest platform is, and what do we see? Everyone’s life looks perfect—vacations, success—it’s all there, neatly packaged. But it’s fake. We’re stuck comparing our messy reality to everyone else’s polished lie. Social media fuels our insecurities, making us feel like we’re failing when in reality, most of it is staged.
7. Body Image Battles: You’re Never Enough
The pressure to look a certain way is everywhere. Too fat, too skinny, too dark, too fair—there’s always something wrong. Society, family, and media have drilled it into us that we need to look perfect. This constant scrutiny leaves us feeling like we’re never enough, no matter how hard we try. The body image struggle is a daily battle, and it’s exhausting.
8. Dangerous Coping Mechanisms: The Reckless Escapes
When the pressure gets too much, many of us turn to dangerous ways to cope. We overspeed on highways, zone out in front of screens, or worse—some turn to drugs or alcohol. It’s not about having fun—it’s about numbing the pain, even if just for a moment. Overspending on things we don’t need is another way to distract ourselves from the chaos. But these reckless escapes don’t solve anything; they just provide temporary relief from the mental strain.
9. Burnout Before We’ve Even Begun
By the time we finish school or get our first job, most of us are already burnt out. We’ve been grinding for years—studying, meeting expectations, trying to live up to impossible standards. And then, when we enter the workforce, it only gets worse. Burnout sets in before we’ve even had a chance to figure out who we are, leaving us feeling exhausted and lost.
10. FOMO: The Fear That Haunts Us
We’re constantly surrounded by the feeling that we’re falling behind. Everyone else seems to be doing something bigger and better—landing dream jobs, traveling, living their best lives—while we’re just trying to survive. The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) is real, and it makes us feel like we’re not achieving enough, no matter what we do.
11. No Emotional Support: You’re On Your Own
In our society, emotions are often brushed aside. If you express vulnerability, you’re told to “toughen up” or “get over it.” But mental health doesn’t work like that. We need support, not dismissiveness. But emotional support is hard to come by, even from those closest to us. We’re left to deal with our struggles alone, and that isolation only makes things worse.
12. Gender Roles: Trapped by Expectations
We’re stuck in predefined roles that don’t fit who we really are. Women are expected to juggle career, marriage, and family, while men are told to suppress their emotions and focus on being the provider. These societal expectations don’t allow us to grow or express ourselves fully. Instead, they trap us in roles that suffocate our mental health.
13. Depression: The Slippery Slope to the Darkest Outcome
When the pressure becomes unbearable, depression sets in. We zone out, disconnect from everything, and start making dangerous choices—over speeding, turning to drugs, alcohol, or overspending to escape the pain. Depression is a slippery slope, and if no one steps in, the darkest outcome is all too real: suicide. I’ve seen it happen. The truth is, no one notices until it’s too late.
How Can We Support Each Other?
This isn’t something one person can fix, but as friends, we can make a difference. Instead of brushing off someone’s pain or offering hollow advice, take the time to truly listen. Encourage your friends to seek help if they need it. Be the friend who stays, even when things are tough—because knowing someone has your back can make all the difference.
It’s also crucial to cheer up friends, no matter how long it’s been. Friendships can drift, but it’s never too late to appreciate those who matter before it’s too late. Help them with their problems, rather than using their struggles as leverage. That happens too often, and it’s toxic. We also need to drop any sense of superiority—just because someone is struggling doesn’t make you better than them. It may sound idealistic, but it needs to be done.
And let’s not forget our parents. Many of them still don’t take mental health seriously, seeing it as “just a phase.” But mental health is real, and the sooner they understand that, the better support they can provide.
When everything seems to be falling apart, it’s those genuine friendships—and the people who truly care—that help us pick up the pieces and move forward. And that’s something we can’t afford to lose.
Comments